In 2010, when I was a professor at Stanford, I suffered a severe stroke. I lost all movement of my right arm and leg; even worse, I lost all ability to communicate.
While I won my struggle to survive, much of my identity – as a Stanford professor, a speaker and writer, an athlete, a mother and a wife – was taken from me. My mind was working but I was trapped inside a broken body, unable to do what I used to do. And maybe even worse, I couldn't tell anyone what I was experiencing. With hard work and a lot of help I regained enough mobility to again be independent, and have recovered some ability to speak. But I have come to accept that I will never again have all the capabilities I once had. Seven years later, I'm still slowly recovering
John W. Evans is the author of The Fight Journal (Rattle, 2023), winner of the 2022 Rattle Chapbook Prize, and also, Should I Still Wish: A Memoir (University of Nebraska Press, 2017), Young Widower: A Memoir (University of Nebraska Press, 2014), and The Consolations: Poems (Trio House Press, 2014).
His books have won prizes including the the Rattle Chapbook Prize, the Peace Corps Writers Book Prize, a ForeWord Reviews Book Prize, the River Teeth Book Prize, the Sawtooth Poetry Prize, and the Trio Award. Should I Still Wish was selected by Poets and Writers magazine as a “new and noteworthy” title of January/February 2017, and is published in the American Lives Series.
His work appears or is forthcoming in The Missouri Review (2016 Editor’s P
Estelle Frankel is a practicing psychotherapist, spiritual advisor, and seasoned teacher of Jewish mysticism who blends depth psychology with the wisdom and healing practices of Kabbalah. She has taught Jewish studies in Israel and the U.S. for over 30 years and was ordained as a Rabbinic Pastor and spiritual guide (mashpiah ruchanit) by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi. While living in Israel from 1970-1978 Estelle attended the Michlalah College for Jewish Studies in Jerusalem and taught at several Yeshivas, including Neve Yerusyhalayim and Shapell (Beruriah). Estelle is currently on the teaching faculty of Chochmat Halev: Wisdom of the Heart Meditation Center, where she teaches Jewish mysticism, meditation and healing, and offers group spir
